SMILING DEPRESSION PART TWO.

I am so excited I am back yippee. It has been one year I wrote last and I have missed this space. 

It is amazing the things that can happen in one year. 

I posted mostly on Facebook but I decided to space my posts on Facebook for now and concentrate on my baby right here.

Part 2 of smiling depression.

I remember when Robbie Williams was said to have committed suicide, it came as a shock to many.

You can be doing all that needs to be done, looking all perfect but dying slowly inside.

Perfectionists are also people who need to be looked at closely, or if you suffer from approval addiction ( wanting to please everyone)

Some common symptoms of smiling depression are feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, fatigue, irritability, hopelessness, lack of enjoyment in pleasurable activities, loss of libido. Experience varies per person so it is possible to feel just one, more or all of these.

You can also liken this disorder to wearing a mask, to the outside world, all is well but underneath the mask they are suffering from panic attacks, sadness, low self esteem and sometimes suicidal thoughts.

Smiling depression can be more dangerous because those suffering from this disorder have the energetic ability to plan and follow through with their suicidal thoughts.

Good news is help is available.

It is said to be one of the most treatable mental health problems.

It is possible to successfully come out of this state of mind and be freed from sadness.

Find a counsellor,therapist or your pastor.

People start to heal when they feel heard. 

Sometimes the crown gets heavy, weighed down by a myriad of responsibility, expectations and illusions. You feel you have worked hard to earn the right to out it on your head, but some days it is too heavy, you want to take it off and let it drop to the ground, but you remember you've got little queens watching. So you just sigh, close your eyes, squeeze a few tears out and you put the crown back on your head, weight and all. You remember you are an heir to a promise, the daughter of a king. So you wear that crown and rule as He wills.

Thank you Sifa for this last paragraph I wrote, because when I took this picture I had a whole lot going on and needed to talk to one person who will not judge me or laugh at me, then someone walked up to me with problems of her own and I had to put on my crown and wipe my own tears.

Put it back on.

Psalm 40:1-3 

Meditate on this Matthew 11:28

Mostly culled from psychologytoday and Sifa Gowon

SUDDENLY..

The Halleluyah challenge was the one of the best things to happen to me this year. God bless pastor Nathaniel Bassey for leading us to do this, I could just see God beaming with pride every midnight when the party for Him is thrown. 

I didn't miss a single day from the moment I joined in and I also recorded a few testimonies.

Looking forward to another...

Suddenly! We are back to writing.

#halleluyahlifestyle #Godcultureoverpopculture 

CORE VALUES

I honestly had no clue what my core values were until 2017 and if I had known my core values early ,there a lot of things I would have avoided in life.
The one that tops my list is LOYALTY. When I consider you my person, i stay on your lane, I may get angry with you, and even abuse you but I will let never let anyone cheat you or abuse you.
You are my own, i will look out for you and I honestly expect the same. Now if you don't have that as your values, you and I will constantly have issues.
Especially with marriage. If loyalty is one your core values and your partner is a cheat, are you going to have a tough marriage because he or she doesn't value loyalty.

So for me, I make a conscious effort to have people like that around me. There's a saying that you are average of the five people you hang around.

So what are your core values?

NAME THEM ONE BY ONE...

Instagram has taught me a lot of things and one of the things I learnt is'the gratitude Jar'.

Every time something good happens to you, you write it on a sheet of paper and then on the 31st of December you open it and give thanks to the One who has done all these things. It is a practical way to count your blessings. I started a few days ago and already three major things have happened to me in 2017 I'd want to be eternally grateful to my God for.

Psalms 103:2

NO DISTRACTIONS JOO

A few days ago, someone I respect and like a lot said a few things to me that hurt and disappointed me. As she was speaking, I had composed an acid dripping speech as reply but when I opened my mouth all I heard was 'I apologize, I had no idea you felt like this and it wasn't my intention to make you feel this way.

As I walked away, I was asking the Holy Spirit what happened, because He knows that person was wrong na and He reminded me of my spiritual goals and told me in plain words, 'Tega you do not need that setback, you have a destination and this will stall some things'😧. It Reminded me of pastor O's words. It is well.

If I've never declared love for you Holy Spirit, I declare my deep love for you. You are indeed counsellor, thank You for saving me from myself. 

John 14:26

DOES CHRISTIANITY PROMOTE POVERTY?

I've had this on my mind for so long but ive been careful not to be misinterpreted but my pastor spoke my mind today.

I met an old friend of mine who has become atheist and my heart bled. Not just because he's atheist now, but because we Christians haven't done a good job in making Jesus appealing to the ones we are talking about Him to.

One of the things that stood out in all he said was that Christians are poor and that's not the kind of life he wants. 

Many of us spend our time in church in one program or the other praying for breakthrough then forget to work. The days of manna are over babe. 

My husband said if mark zuckerberg gives all church folks in nigeria all the money they need, the church pews will be empty. I was angry with him,I felt he was mocking Christians even though he is a Christian. But I can't help but agree with him.

God wants us to be fruitful, He didn't say money should be our God but He definitely doesn't want us to be beggarly. 

These days things are changing though, a lot of pastors are also life coaches who teach you to become excellent in every area of our lives. Teaching us to make impact in our spheres of contact.

Many of the richest people in the world are not Christians, this shouldn't be so, our God owns the silver and the gold, the cattle on a thousand hills belong to Him, He made Solomon sooooo rich that no one has ever seen such riches. He said He is the one who teaches us to make wealth. Did you hear what He did with Abraham? Did you hear what He did with Jacob? Did you hear how Isaac was able to reap 100 fold in famine? The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Tega. 

Haba na, you no dey vex? 

If this is the God we serve why are we not representing? Imagine working smart and having God.

I am happy about Mrs Folorunsho Alakija. It is close to home, She makes me know it is possible to have Christ and have wealth.

Father use me as your signpost of your word being yea and AMEN!

Psalms 35:27

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

I've never looked forward to any year like 2017. Most importantly I never looked forward to any holiday like the 2016 Christmas holiday.

I spent it sharpening my gele skills and with family.

My brothers little girls are the sweetest things on earth. Very intelligent and hospitable as young as they are.

Toluwani is a real first child, just turned 4 but extremely responsible and understanding, na my first fan and follower for life be dat girl. She followed me everywhere, except when I had to take a bath. Very inquisitive also.

Toluwalase my firebrand baby. When I hear people say they started singing at age 2 , I give them the 'sideeye' but now I believe it. That girl loves to sing, what woke me up most mornings was her singing. ( the lyrics is another matter o).

Now those children love their parents to the envy of anyone watching but the relationship with their father is another matter. it taught me how we should love God. He can rebuke them for a wrong act this moment and they are running to him still for the comfort they need.

My brother, his wife and I were in the house talking about something and the girls were playing outside, and we heard the frantic cries of "daddy" and we ran out. Thank God they were safe but what struck me was the fact that despite the number of times he had warned them to not play in that area, when they got into trouble they called him and of course he came to their rescue.

Do you know that God can always come to your rescue? Do you know He loves you unconditionally? Do you know that even when you sin, you can and should cry out to Him for help? Do you know he won't tell you to stay in your mess because He has warned you? 

You may get hurt but He will bring you out of the mess.

Give your all love to Him today. 

Happy new year, let's make this year count in our spiritual lives.

Psalm 18:6 

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

God said let us create man in our image and likeness and gave him dominion over every thing yet an animal that Adam had dominion over was able to fool him just because he didn't know who he was.

The same devil came to tempt Jesus and because Jesus knew who He was, flicked him off like a fly.imagine that Jesus gave in... Thank God o.

The difference is in the KNOWING. you gan be principality, ask king David, he knew whose he was.

When the devil whispers that you can't have children,Tell him right back that it is written that none shall be barren in the land.

When he says you will die poor because no one in your whole village has more than 2bedroom bungalow, remind him that the earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof and this same Lord is your Shepherd and has promised you will not want.

When he tells you that you have nothing to show for your years of serving God, remind him that the bible says he that endures till the end shall be saved.

God has given us the answer to every obstacle standing in your way.

Receive Boldness in the face of adversity in Jesus name!!!

Proverbs 24:10

2017 IN VIEW..

I remember when I used to have a long list of goals at the beginning of every year, make New Years resolutions I won't remember by the 5th of January.

Recently I saw a diary of mine that I had written my goal for 2011,2012 and 2013. The list was exactly the same, which meant I had not accomplished any. In 3 YEARS!!! 

What a shame. I realized the problem was that I didn't make any move towards achieving my goals. 

2016 I had quite a few and I achieved 2 out of ...... I'm celebrating the victory of the two because achieving them opened my eyes to why I've never accomplished any before now. I expected them to just happen because I desired them.

 For 2017 I have only 3 goals. 

I intend to pray about them from tonight, I intend to research on how to achieve them and I intend to be extremely deliberate about the process to my achievements.

Begin to pray and fast about 2017. There's no point wearing your boots on the battle field, prepare before you enter the battlefield. The path to all round success is direction from the Lord. 

Jeremiah 42:3

POT OF OIL

I've never really spoken about my experiences in the Holy Land. Words can't caption it at all.

We took a picture in front of a cafe that has existed for decades. It is a family owned business, one person sowed the seed and left an inheritance for generations. Gil just mentioned it casually but it hasn't left me since.

I've done a few businesses and failed woefully at them so I can imagine the tears and sweat involved in keeping this business alive let alone for so long. 

A few years ago I heard in a service that you should pray about your source of income because He teaches us to create wealth, in the vision of the day or dream of the night He will drop the idea. He did it with Jacob when Laban was trying to cheat him.

I am learning not to do anything without asking THE STORY CHANGER. 

That widow in the bible had a little oil in her house that she thought had no value,Elisha told her to go and borrow jars, (get capacity, train yourself, broaden your horizon) she had borrowed what she could and after pouring into all the jars she could find ,there was no more (reached her limit). 

He said to her, "Go, sell the oil and pay your debt and you and YOUR SONS  can live on the rest (inheritance). From debt to leaving an inheritance!!! 

No matter how many versions of tongues you can switch on and off ,it doesn't translate to wealth if you do not cry out. (After all her husband was a son of a prophet) 

Ask God for your pot of oil (source of income) that won't dry up and live an inheritance for your children and they will thank you for it. 

As Christians we know that our economy isn't of this world and our lives should reflect it. If Isaac sowed in famine and reaped 100 fold In the same year, has that God who favored Isaac gone on leave?

2 kings 4 :1-7

Deuteronomy 8:18 

LOYALTY!

Was studying the book of Daniel yesterday and during my quiet time, the Holy Spirit started to convict me.

He made me realize how disloyal I am to God. At first I resisted it but He just won't let me. Somehow I begged for mercy and shook it off.

Do you know those boys were blindly loyal to God? They didn't shift their focus from God and naturally He showed up for them. The funny thing about this is they were not believing God for the mundane things that we spend our energy trying to get, it was all for this God. We naturally gravitate towards the people who are loyal/love us. God loves us all equally but don't forget that the bible also says eyes have not seen what God has prepared for those who love Him.

Every time we look to help ourselves out of any situation or look to man, we have shifted our focus from God and that questions our loyalty to Him. 

Still wonder why He didn't show up in that situation? You were not looking to Him babay!  When you reach heaven in your ripe old age ask uncle Peter why he began to sink on the same water he was walking on.

PASTOR GOODHEART...

When I first heard that Pastor Goodheart was leaving HOTR I was uncomfortable even though it isn't my church. Then I read that he was simply answering the call to destiny and he left without any drama. I became super proud of him.

It would have been a mess if his leaving was controversial because he's One of the fathers of the Pentecostal church in abuja.(the man na principality true)

I've been under his ministration once and I was thoroughly blessed. Many of us haven't recovered from the revival that was wrought that day (we don't want to anyway).

I'm not shocked at the name of his church, that's what he stands for.

I wish everyone who is answering their personal call to destiny makes it as honorable as this, it makes me proud to be a Christian. Well done sir.

The God that called you will hold your hand as you walk with Him till Jesus Taries.

We are not in competition with each other, the real competition is out there.

Psalm 133

HEARTFELT GRATITUDE

I didnt want the protocol department people to spend money celebrating me, there's just been so much in the last few months. I did all the James bond to escape being surprised.
Then they caught me, I was too celebrated.
I was kept in a hotel to chill, and pastor Ib helped them catch me.
My sister and brother were all in on it.

I started the tears from 1159 on the 4th because I read things people had to say about me.
I'm not a nice person to my protocol people because I need the work done.
I was shocked at the things I heard about me. It could not have been me they were talking about, it has to be the person they want me to be.

I don't remember giving anyone my last money , i don't remember crying with anyone, i don't remember fighting anyone over my people, i don't remember being a mother hen, I don't remember giving wise advice, I don't remember teaching anyone. All I remember is how I howl at them when they are not getting work done.

Indeed God uses the foolish things to confound the wise. I don't get it but I'm grateful for it.
When women Pray is churning out women that will change the world, one family at a time.

God bless you all. I'm grateful.

In other news na so I enter elevator for hotel Nepa take light. I bind every thing that wants to turn my joy into mourning in Jesus name.

Psalm 90:12

DUE PROCESS

I'm so tired of apologizing to everyone about why I've not written in a while. Truth is I've been extremely busy. I'm doing many things and also like I explained to Reverend Ethel, I don't want to write from my flesh, cos then nothing will make sense.

I honestly think I've found my pot of oil, (Like the widow of zarephat ). One day I'd write the breakdown of this revelation.

Anyway I read a  short story about the man who helped a struggling butterfly out of its cocoon and the butterfly had to live the rest of its life with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never flew, it didn't fulfil destiny because of the shortcut.

Many of us, (yours truly included) don't like the process of squeezing that ultimately leads to our balanced growth. It is not easy at all but it is needed.

I'm going through a process of accepting what God has obviously called me for. I have been told, I have dreamt it, I have seen small small signs but meeeeeehn. 

I wasn't actively fighting against it, but I wasn't actively working towards it either. 

I'm learning a few stuff along the way, I'm gaining strength, hopefully gaining maturity, gaining wholeness .

Many times I want to give up, especially when it becomes unbearable (which is the shortcut) I remember that I need balanced growth.  Many times I want to dislike the people God is using to chisel me, but I remember that I need balanced growth, I don't necessarily like the process but I need balanced growth.

I jus kient deal with a swollen body with shriveled wings so hard as the process will be, I go try take am.

Hopefully I'm back to writing.

Happy October! 

Hebrews 12:11

GIVE ME YOU...

I've been struggling with a few stuff recently and It is helping me grow. My growth may not be at a pace expected, but I am savouring it.
I was quite angry with someone and everything the person did just plain irritated me. One day I kept hearing "love does not give up",  I honestly didn't want to hear it because my mind was made up on what I wanted to do.

Then God asked me if I wanted Him to give up on me when I fail Him. I cried, telling God if He's not seeing what this person is doing to me and He has refused to answer me again.

My husband has his own love language which is slightly different from mine and it irks me badly. In one of  my moments of wondering how I didn't notice all this before marriage, the Holy Spirit whispers to me "love on me Tega and I will teach him to love you the way you want".

Now, how on earth will the Holy Spirit be telling me to love on Him, He knows I love Him. So I began to search my ways.

I've not had a full day of just being in His presence in two years like I used to.
I've not even had up to one hour of being in His presence in recent times just praising Him, I'm constantly interceding, or negotiatiating or weeping ,asking for something.
Sometimes I rush out without giving Him the first fruits of my day.

I've not paid much attention to my Father, yet He watches over me constantly.

All I can do is ask for mercy...

JESUS ARE YOU THERE?

Have you ever experienced pain so deep you can physically feel it? Like your heart is about to be ripped out from your chest, are things refusing to add up, is it taking too long for the promise to manifest..... I can relate sweetheart, I can and so can Don Moen.

Lord, You seem so far away
A million miles or more, it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray

But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart

I will sing, yes, I will praise, even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise, lift my hands to honor You
Because Your word is true, I will sing

Lord it's hard for me to see all the thoughts
And plans You have for me, yes it is
But I will put my trust in You
Lord we made You die to set me free
Oh thank God You did

 

KIKI EFEBO

One day I was in fellowship and I noticed three lovely ladies staring at me. I felt awkward because I somehow knew they were talking about the testimony I had given during anniversary about my changed life. I moved past them telling myself that's their business. A few days later one of them walks up to me and told me things that made me cry and after that she became my personal baby. She became my first mentee ever.
When you meet her you first think she will be a snub and full of herself because of her good looks but her warmth will endear you to her instantly.
Fashionista,  make up lover, lover of children, responsible (had to drag her into protocol ), extremely respectful, talented, focused, very willing to learn and most importantly a beautiful girl with anointing.

Kilete Efebo,  theres no way i wont celebrate you on this platform, you encouraged me when I thought I was rambling,  thank you for commenting first on my first ever post, thank you for making me more responsible by constantly looking out for you.
Happy birthday darling.

WHAT DRIVES YOUR CHRISTIANITY?

A few years ago, I introduced a friend to another friend to do some business  and it went downhill.
It it got nasty very quickly and I was caught in the middle of the drama. In fact I am was going to be arrested by my friend o.
The interesting thing is both of them are tongue talking Christians yet one of them said she will never do business with a Christian again.

A few weeks ago a pastor was interviewed at a radio station and when the phone lines were open, it was like hell was let loose. it sounded like everyone had been waiting for him, they abused the living lights out of him.
And it goes on and on and on and on. ..
The painful part is it don't blame them much because many of us are not eternity conscious. We don't think about how God feels about what we are doing after we have received salvation  (me inclusive). In the days of ignorance, God will indeed overlook  (the key word being "IGNORANCE")

Do you know what drives terrorists? A reward about virgins gifted to them.  What should drive us Christians is the fact that we don't want to hear the word "DEPART" from our heavenly Father on that day.

WITH AGE..

There's this joke about women and marriage that says
At 20 a woman wants a tall, dark, rich, handsome and funky man.
At 30 a woman wants a tall, rich , handsome and God fearing man
At 35 a woman wants a rich, handsome and God fearing man
At 40 a woman wants a rich and God fearing man
At 45 a woman wants a God fearing man
At 50 a woman wants a man.

The joke is meant to depict desperation in women  and lowering their standards because of societal pressure. It used to be so funny and I used to agree with it.

It only just occurred to me that it isn't desperation that makes women strike off a lot of stuff from their 'spec' list but wisdom and maturity that most times comes with age.

No right thinking 30 something years old would want an "I feel alright", "trouser sagging", "club hopping" guy these days. That individual has no vision. And trust me if you are looking for such a man, you are also vision less and your case na "double wahala for dead body".
THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND. Where will you both end up? Groping in darkness till you land in a gutter.

No matter how Christian a person is, how many hours the person speaks in tongues if  you have no vision, you are going nowhere fast. It took me a while to get this. May God collapse years for me in Jesus name o.

If I catch my daughters at 22 with "I feel alright" boy ehn, the rod of correction will be her companion.

Women : have a vision and most importantly marry a man with a vision.

Luke 6:39

TEGA SAYS NAY!

You see the gender equality madness that's making the news is just an end time sign. It may sound appealing to a lot of women but I promise you it is altering Gods word and plan. 

The God that made man head of the house and woman help meet isn't foolish. I will not alter Gods word in the name of civilization. 

There is a saying in Yoruba that the person who someone is helping should carry the bulk of the load while the helper carries the lighter part.

I don't blame men much though, It started from Adam. If he had been with his wife when the serpent came to tempt her, he would have been able to guide her and protect her from the guile of the serpent but I'm sure he was on one social media platform or taking selfies and left the woman open to temptation. And she went ahead and made a decision that altered humanity.

Women are also a huge problem in bringing men up, you spoil your son rotten in the name of love forgetting that he will grow up and (reluctantly) leave the house and become a burden to the society and his wife. A boy is taught to play video games while a daughter is taught to be a home keeper. Be conscious that you are raising either a source of joy or source of sorrow.

I Oghenetega as a woman was called to be 'helpmeet'. If God desired for me to be a man, He will have created me so from beginning.(after all I have five brothers)

He is wiser than the wisest.

I don't care what the Senate says but I am a senator of the Heavenly House of Reps and I say NAY to gender equality.

With this point of mine, I hope I've been able to convince you and not confuse you that I am not for half baked gender equality.

Man take your place!

Genesis 2:20b, Ephesians 5:23&24